Breaking Free From Clutter
Hello friends! With each new day of this magnificent Fall season, I never know what I’ll experience each time I step outside: crisp, cooler air or a sudden heat wave? Unpredictable weather reminds me there is much in life we can’t control, yet there are also many things we can. If we consider how this connects to disorganization, we’ll discover some deep-rooted beliefs that impact our inability to let go. It’s the things we don’t truly value but keep in our homes that turn into unwanted clutter. As a professional organizing coach, I love helping clients uncover the specific thoughts that keep them attached to stuff they don’t truly need, want or love. They KNOW that clutter robs their hard earned money, takes an emotional toll and steals precious time. They are exhausted by it all and yet can’t let things go.
Here are 5 things I commonly hear that keeps them hanging on:
1. “It has sentimental value to me.” This rationale often keeps us bound to many things. It becomes an issue when we have an overload of nostalgic items that compete for space and attention. If it’s not important enough to display proudly, easily access or ever look at it, the item is not as valuable as you think. They end up taking up what I call “prime real estate”. We hold on because of the memories attached to things – but the memories are stored in YOU, not the physical stuff.
2. “I spent a LOT of money on this, so I’m NOT getting rid of it”. Keeping such items becomes a memorial to bad decision-making (I have been guilty of this myself!) I’ve come to realize this hinders my goal to live minimally and have it ready for guests. I’m not advocating being wasteful, but holding onto things we spent money on will never bring back hard earned cash. What can we learn from our foolish or impulsive buying? As we carefully reflect on this, it will distinguish between a want or need. This is important, as it’s much harder to get rid of those ‘gotta-have-its’ once they come into our homes. What you allow to enter in doesn’t leave easily!
3. “This was a gift.” As a former people pleaser, I get it. However, keeping things you don’t really cherish only adds to the overwhelm of too much stuff. You are the one allowing guilt and shame to take ownership. Separate your feelings about the person from the object itself; will letting go of this thing really dishonor someone? Is it possible we can still love and respect others without keeping tangible items they gave? You betcha!
4. “I may use this one day.” Ouch. This is a tough one as we begin to recognize the dreams that our stuff symbolizes. One of my organizing clients chose not to get rid of a basement full of rodent infested antiques she hadn’t touched in years for this very reason. Many items remained in that moldy basement which were a harsh reminder of a promise she made to herself years before. With older adults, holding on may stem from a Great Depression mentality, or the belief that they won’t have enough. Both these ways of thinking are based on disappointment and fear of the future. You can learn how to let go in order to create space for new and good things ahead.
5. “I’m so overwhelmed and have no time to declutter.” The sheer volume of the task may be so daunting that we do anything to avoid. The best advice here is to get honest with yourself. We make time for what is important. Is getting organized really what you want to do? If so, what outside support might you need? With one of my clients, we came up with the phrase “one task at a time”. She found the accountability provided during our virtual organizing sessions to be instrumental in her taking steps toward the change she desired. Make an appointment with yourself (actually schedule it in) to get things done. Breaking down your overwhelm into manageable chunks will ease the overload.
I share all this from personal experience, as someone who has lived in chaos. As a girl who simply loves Jesus, I’ve learned how valuable it is to examine my beliefs through the lens of truth. A right mindset requires consistent effort and forces us to define what really matters. I’ve realized that neither material goods or success will ever fill my need to belong, because such longing only comes from God. We are created in His image, with an innate desire to be in relationships with people, not things. I’m ever challenged by His invitation to choose well. Deuteronomy 30:19-20 directs us to “choose life, so that you and your children may live and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice and hold fast to Him.” Breaking free from clutter is something we CAN control – and, we get to make a choice to do so.
Coaching Connection:
- What items in your life don’t serve a purpose and are taking up space necessary for more important things?
- What are the things you have in your home that you would never buy again? What is it you really want to do with them, and what is holding you back from doing so?
- How have I seen myself hanging onto things because of plans that never unfolded?
To Your Growth,
Image by Merydolla by Getty Images