Running On Empty

Somewhere along the way, we as women don’t just get busy — we begin to feel like we’ve lost ourselves. Not in a sudden moment, but in the slower buildup of caregiving, responsibility, and constant availability to others. We show up functioning and holding everything together until one day, we don’t. We’re tired. Exhausted. We may not even recognize who we are anymore. Chronic caregiving and emotional exhaustion can erase a sense of self over time. Behind a mask of having it all together, we feel spiritually drained, physically depleted, and emotionally stretched beyond recognition.

Sometimes when in this place, we can clearly say what we want: “A space where no one is asking anything of me!” But like words with no action, a knowing is not the same as receiving. Rest can feel undeserved. Taking time out for self may seem irresponsible. We don’t want to let anyone down. So, life becomes a pattern of continual giving — until a deeper question begins to surface: “Where did I go?” and “Who am I?”

One client described her life as constantly putting out fires — one urgent need after another — with no room to think beyond getting through each day. By the time one crisis was addressed, another demanded attention, with everything else buried under a sense of ongoing urgency. In a previous post, I shared a simple tool called the 3 P’s — Pause, Pray, Process — as a way to slow overwhelm and reconnect with God. But for the woman who feels lost, a deeper question is needed.

In the middle of yet another request or decision, it can help to ask yourself: “What’s mine to hold?” This reminds me of Jesus’ teaching in Matthew 5:37 where He tells us to “Let your ‘Yes’ be yes, and your ‘No,’ no; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.” This question becomes a spiritual filter. It separates obligation from assignment. It helps us discern what God is asking of us versus what we’ve absorbed through habit, guilt, or expectation. Not everything urgent is ours. Not everything needing to be done is ours. And not every way of doing things needs to stay the same.

As we begin to discern what is truly ours to carry, space opens for restoration. We were never created to keep running on empty. Change begins as we take little bits of time to rediscover who we are beneath the exhaustion — no longer defined by a constant need to give more and more, but rooted in our identity in Him. Sometimes, we simply need to step away from the chaos, find a quiet space and allow God to show us what He has us to hold… and what to release.

Coaching Connection:

1. Beneath the weight of responsibilities, roles, and expectations — who is the woman I believe God created me to be?
2. What would it look like to reconnect with her?

To Your Growth,